We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
