i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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