Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
