nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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