i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
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