maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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