We're facebook friends in real life
from now on my penis is your penis
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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