I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
