they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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