brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize