we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
