but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
