omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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