I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Farmville is her only friend.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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