I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
