So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
