he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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