I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
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