all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
as a side note pls kill me
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
