u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
