I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
