Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
