Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
