yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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