Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
