what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
