i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
