I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
