God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
either way he was missing a nipple.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
