I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
