Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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