I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
how does that bad decision feel?
Panties = found
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
