I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Boobs speak an international language.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
