Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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