That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
