marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
