Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
i out mim tonsoeep
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