He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Randomize
