I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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