Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
