Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
