Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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