Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
