I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
