i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
