ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
