Define "chronic" masturbator.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
