Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Vodka?
Forever.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
