she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
