More tranny stories later!
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
