Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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