"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
