Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
