It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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