Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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