Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Oh god it's open bar.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
