Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
