i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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