I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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