there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
